[Printer starts beeping] “‘PC Load Letter’”? What the fuck does that mean?”

This is one of those days where my fantasies about graduate school are intense. So very intense.

And just for good measure: “I’ll be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings ‘When a Man Loves a Woman.’”